Feeling Moony

Moonrise from my deck in Wasilla, Alaska

When I was a teenager, I discovered the poetry of a fellow Minnesotan, Robert Bly. This was before Iron John and his fame as translator of Pablo Naruda. His words touched me. I hauled his books of poetry to our cabin on Big Sandy Lake near McGregor, MN and always had one tucked in my pack.  Imagine my surprise today when we began the K12 Earth Science lesson on moon phases and it begins with poetry from Robert Bly.

After writing poems all day,
I go off to see the moon in the pines.
Far in the woods I sit down against a pine.
The moon has her porches turned to face the light,
But the deep part of her house is in the darkness.

-Robert Bly

full moon over black tree line

One of my earliest memories is seeing the moon over my Dad’s shoulder as he carried me home to my bed after the store closed. “My moon!” Mother moon was full and extraordinarily close when my Dad was called home on the shores of Lake Superior. He was born in a twin city, lived his whole life in twin cities, and died in a twin city. Our lives go through phases and sometimes we reflect more light than other times.

I do my Tai Chi in moonbeams – full, crescent, gibbous, and wuji.

Cyber Nut

113402DC CA34 4C6E 86BA 739C4628E59EThis is a Timex Sinclair 1000 gifted to me by my sister-in-law Mary Ellen.  In 1983-1985 I spent way too much time hand coding in games from dime store magazines into this computer. It was my first venture with coding and precision. I often spent whole days at it. One mistake and the game didn’t work. No we didn’t have the internet to look up bugs or to streamline or simplify the process. No cut/copy/paste. Just good old hand entry of code. I would frequently not eat or be late to pick up my husband at work. No cell phones either. Just a step beyond punch cards. This was a personal computer in those days.

I moved to Alaska in 1985 and didn’t have much time for coding. I started work at the University of Alaska, Anchorage in the School of Engineering. There we had a VAX mainframe computer and some of the professors had IBM personal computers I had a Hewlette Packard workstation that connected to the mainframe. The on switch was a mechanical toggle on the back. You turned on all the peripherals like the screen, modem, printers, etc and then you booted the terminal. 

Shortly after that my Sister-in-law acquired a Commodore from Montgomery Wards. We could connect by dial up modem on our phone line to the university computer where we could chat, email, and share files. It wasn’t quite the internet but closer.

My husband had an IBM ThinkPad from work. On weekends we would use the LYNX browser to access the internet. It wasn’t fast and you didn’t get photos; but, it was exotic and alluring.You still couldn’t talk on the phone and use the line as a modem for the computer. 

I acquired a word processor which was a huge step up from a typewriter. Still not really a computer. Then someone gave me a kaypro II in the early 90’s. They had upgraded so it was an older computer but new to me. It ran ancestry software and games and multiple word-processing options. Still no real internet but we did have email.

Kaypro II1The Kaypro was replaced by WebTV and I quickly learned to do email, lists, some social media, and build websites on WebTV and Yahoo. Oh my! This was the rabbit hole. I spent nearly all my time in front of the TV clacking away on the keyboard. After a few years of WebTV my sister-in-law obtained an iMAC. I never used it but my daughter Jean became a real iMAC jockey. I received a few more used computers. Now these were full Windows PCs and I replaced Wordstar and WordPerfect with WORD. I learned to hyperlink and quickly found my way around social media. I began updating then designing and eventually hosting and building websites. By 2004 I had some 200 websites with my name Lazytea on them. 

By 2010 I was proficient in Ruby on Rails, CSS, HTML, HTML 5, CSS, Javascript, and I could build W#C compliant websites. Dreamweaver & Corel Paint Shop Pro became my daily work tools. I learned how to manage SQL and build on various content management platforms. I even had my own virtual server until it all came crashing down in the late 2010’s to hackers mostly from Russia. They violated every little flaw in the management coding, server security, and html that they could find. My websites crashed and refreshed. I spent hour upon hour restoring sites only to have them hacked again. Security was too expensive for most of my clients so I was forced to stop hosting and because simply maintaining sites. I enjoyed the work immensely; and I enjoyed working with clients until it came time to manage billing and renweals. I really needed a secretary or financial assistant. I would bill and then the clients would ask for the moon before they paid. They didn’t understand how much I was doing without charging them. Never once did I charge to restore a website or fix some odd thing that they had given me incorrectly in the first place. I grew reluctant to bill. Some people wanted to barter and that was fine. But, domain names and hosting cost me cash so I couldn’t barter for everything.

And, I grew tired of explaining to people that music and gifs from the 90’s just weren’t appropriate on websites in the 2000s. Remember Hampster Dance? Yeah – they wanted their websites to play songs and have dancing hamsters or dogs or whatever. As content and design became separated even farther, I spent even more time explaining that they couldn’t just have something different on every page. It got to be all too much. In 2015, I said goodbye to all but a few websites. 

I had a series of DELL Windows PCs for most of my serious working time. Then, finally this summer after making a big of spending cash with the US Census, I bought myself a MacBook Pro. I love it! It can go with me wherever I go. It’s fast, clean, intuitive and perfect for my lifestyle and online life. 

Seems quite a change from a dial tone phone and Timex Sinclair to an iPhone and a MacBook. Oh and I love my Apple Watch. I wonder what the next 20 years will bring. I’ll get into my thought on social media more in a future post. 

 

Growing Asparagus

growing-asparagus2Asparagus was quite a treat for us growing up in Minnesota. When I was very young it became my favorite green thing to eat.  While the big squares of golden butter melted over the tender stalks, my grandma would tell me the story of going way out in the country to Ogden meadows where they would visit the “china men” and buy asparagus fresh from the field.  This was during WWII when she worked at the Kaiser shipyards in Portland, Oregon. Asparagus was exotic. My father was a meat and potatoes kinda guy; but, he loved asparagus and decided to try his hand at growing it.

Dad was an expert hunter and fisherman. But, when it came to growing things, well, he was a bit removed from his agrarian ancestors. He enjoyed planting trees. Together we planted many Norway Pine, Black Walnut, Crab Apples, Maples, Weeping Willow, and Blue Spruce. He also successfully transplanted wildflowers especially Lady Slippers.  We had a healthy stand of Tiger lilies, lily of the valley, and various tuber flowers. So, when he decided to plant asparagus under the concord grapevine that ran between two radio towers just across the sand burr patch in the backyard we were wholeheartedly on board.

This was in the late 60’s early 70’s long before the internet and ehow.  Back then our first resource for everything was a set of World Book Encyclopedias we had collected through various dividend programs. We had the whole set! Dad looked up how to grow asparagus in the “A” volume.  He sat in his big Naugahyde chair in front of the color TV set and studied those pages. Being quite skilled with electronic schematics and diagrams, he got out paper and pencil and drew various plans. Apparently, there was more to planting asparagus than stirring up dirt and poking it in the ground.

If there was a way to cut corners and avoid heavy labor, dad would be the first in line.  Projects were measured by how many coffee/cigarette breaks they required. Asparagus required a lot of digging with a shovel so it was a multi-day task requiring several pots of coffee and packs of cigarettes. I know because I was the one sent to the house to retrieve a fresh pack or more coffee. I always returned quickly lest I missed a moment of the drama.  The first step to planting asparagus was to dig a hole about 6 feet deep and 3 feet wide and 7 feet long.  About the size to bury someone I joked. He didn’t see the humor in it.  We traded off digging.  Thankfully, it was loose, sandy soil. Since it was at the edge of sand burr patch there wasn’t anywhere to sit in the shade to rest so we managed to get the hole dug.  The next step was to fill it with layers of soil, straw, and manure.  I watched as he made this organic parfait.

The hole was about 1/2 full when he declared it was time to get the starts from the greenhouse.  We drove out to the greenhouse (which was perplexedly NOT green) and purchased a few dozen rooty little white nubs that looked more like something you’d get at the bait shop than cuisine. Laying on his stomach avoiding sand burrs as best he could, he reached way down and planted those little nubs in the hole. Then, we layered in more debris on top and watered it.

Everyday I went out and peered into the pit to try to see the new asparagus. Days, weeks, months past.  No asparagus.  I dutifully added water to the pit whenever dad thought it would be appropriate.  Soon, the pit became quite the attraction for the neighbors. Everyone came to peer down the hole and discuss whether or not this was the proper way to grow asparagus. Dad would refer them to the pages of “A” World Book Encyclopedia. And, he would get just a little defensive. Grandma was the most critical and disparaging. Eventually, dad began to reference wild asparagus that he’d wild-crafted in the woods up north. He explained there were good years and bad years.  Perhaps this just wasn’t a good asparagus year. We didn’t eat asparagus from our yard that first year.

The next spring, I started checking on the project. I carefully dug out the oak and cottonwood leaves that had blown into the pit over the winter. Spring rains seemed to keep the pit flooded, but midsummer I thought I saw a little green in there.  I think dad had endured enough ridicule about the pit that he stayed away except for the occasional visit to tend the grapes or make sure the wire fence edging was in place so some neighbor kid or critter didn’t fall in the pit.  Again, no asparagus.

By the 3rd summer we’d started to discuss what to do with the hole in the back yard.  We had pretty much given up on ever having asparagus.  The leaves were left and no one watered it anymore. You couldn’t really see anything unless you stood at the edge of the pit. I’d occasionally peer in while mowing lawn or playing . No one mentioned asparagus until one day when Mom declared that there was indeed some growing.  We still had to lay on our stomach and reach way down to harvest the shoots; but, we did have a taste of our own harvest that year.  Dad declared that asparagus thrived on neglect. So, we left it pretty  much alone. Subsequent years the yield increased.

Maybe next post I’ll write about killing turkeys, a lesson in dealing with snapping turtles, or why you should skin your deer before it freezes. My dad was a great teacher!

June Bugs

June bug

 

Crunch – ewww – Yep It’s June again! The short Summer nights are full of flying bird food. June beetles/June bugs are harmless to human and pets; but, that doesn’t make them less creepy crawly. My kitchen window storm is broken sos it is filled with dozens of the little demons come dark. My dog likes to scoop them up on our walk and crunch them down like a potato chip. 

I remember when I was a kid growing up in Spring Lake Park Minnesota, we had a large cement pad in front of our little store (Zabel’s). Above the store entry was a large sodium vapor light operated on a photo cell so once it was dark it was the biggest June bug rave on that cement step you ever saw. Coming home late from my job at the mall was particularly challenging. There was no way to get to the door without stepping on them. You sure didn’t want to spend anytime sitting on the bench enjoying the cool evening breeze with those prehistoric looking killer insects crawling all over.  Sometimes, it was solid black with bugs. I used to wait outside on our picnic table in the dark until my Mom would let me in the back door which had a switch on the light which was usually off. Anything to avoid those bugs. 

Thankfully, they don’t last long. And, now I’ve lived in North Carolina with Cicadas and Centipedes and Millipedes, spiders as big as your palm. Yeah – doesn’t make June bugs any more desirable. Proof I’m not a bird. Eat all you want my feathered friends.

 

To Justify or Not to Justify

Is that the question? Way back 50 years ago when I was 12 I was the editor of the Jobette, a publication for MN Bethel #19 of the International order of Job’s Daughters. Every 3rd week I would handwrite/draw on Ditto (machine) Masters the news and filler for that month’s issue. I didn’t know how to type yet. I went down to the Masonic Temple at Lowry & Central early and ran the issues while the other girls set up for the meeting. The ditto machine produced wet lavender blue reproductions of the masters then I collated and stapled the corner. The Ditto machine seemed almost magic. The first machine operated by turning the crank to make the drum turn and the solution to get the ink from the master onto the page. Seems we upgraded during my tenure to an electric model that literally spit out the pages at lightening speed.Thus began my first foray into the publishing world. I loved every aspect of it from writing the pages to stapling. 

TypewriterIn Junior High we had a monthly newspaper. I wrote news and feature stories. I think the teachers handled the layout and publishing; but, I really enjoyed writing. This is shortly before I was told that I lacked good journalistic style and should probably stick to some other kind of writing. Teachers have no idea how they can steal the joy of a student in a few words. It was also around this time that the counselor told me I wouldn’t be a good candidate to work in natural resources since I didn’t have adequate math skills. They just refused to entertain the thought. Looking back, I wish they had been more supportive. Was there no way for me to gain those math skills? I was surely motivated. I was a bt lost without any real direction to go for a career. I knew I didn’t want to be a nurse; and though my parents wished it very hard, I really did not want to be a secretary. Journalism was interesting then. Remember, this is before Watergate. Doing human interest stories was my jam.

By high School I was back into working on the paper. I started by writing feature articles and they recruited me to sell advertising. Believe me, I’m no salesperson! I suck at selling anything especially advertising. I did enjoy doing ad layout though especially when it wasn’t ROTC where they required a certain ad was placed. 

Ah layout! So this was the 1970’s We didn’t have computers and we were just starting to use Xerox copiers. In fact, most smaller runs were still being done on Ditto machines and Mimeographs. Our High School was fortunate enough to have a program to train press operators. We had a full off-set press set up. So layout was manual right down to the rubber cement & t-squares. I can still smell rubber cement (probably a little hallucinogenic?) Ad copy was a collage of clip art (literal clip art for large books of black on white graphics we clipped out with scissors), rub on lettering, graphic/line tape, and a bit of type from the IBM Justifyer.

The Justifier predated any word-processing software or graphic layout. It was basically and IBM Selectric typewriter using their ball type system; but it had an added feature that was pure too doo. You type in the text, take a reading from the scales and dials as to to hyphenate and if it looked right you hit the button and the Justifier magically resized the spaces in the text so both margins were straight. The Justifyer typed it out on a sticky backed paper that was cut and placed on the page pattern to make the master for photographing and making into a plate. Now, as magic as the Justifier was, it didn’t allow for mistakes. If you had a typo in your text well you basically started the paragraph completely over from scratch.  Amazing how quickly one learns to slow down and type with accuracy. I loved the Justifier. Typing was much like playing the piano and it was creating something. I also was able to edit on the fly and read everything in the paper. It wasn’t long before I secured my job as the only person to use the Justifier. 

Sandpiper hangout 77The Journalism department soon became my family and home away from home. I spent every spare minute there; ate my lunch over a nest of t-squares, graphic tapes, paper scraps, and layout pages. The smell of rubber cement and emulsion paper followed me everywhere. The paper’s advisor soon decided I needed to learn all aspects of Journalism. I learned proper page layout, photo editing (remember no Photoshop this was all done in the darkroom), headline writing (including rubbing the transfer letters onto the layout minding the picas), and content editing. We did an issue once a month. Hours of work went into it before it was sent to the printers. We approved the proofs and then once printed we collated and folded each issue. Folding was something I usually avoided. The fresh ink or the paper made me feel ill. Our paper, The Sandpiper, was award winning and we were very proud of it. There was no doubt in my mind in 1977 that I was going to pursue a career in Journalism. I even signed up for the best Journalism school in the state, St. Cloud State University.

I spent a year at Anoka-Ramsey Community College getting the basic core classes dispatched. It was a really great year and I met many interesting people including Garrison Keillor, Michael Dennis Brown the poet, and Robert Sullivan the Philosophy professor who really changed my life. The second year, I went to St. Cloud and indeed studied Journalism. But, it was post Watergate and Journalism had changed. It was now cut-throat competitive. I enjoyed the photography classes; but, the required Journalism 102 class was a no go. I was working at B. Dalton Bookseller and living off-campus. No car so I walked 13 blocks to and from school along the Mississippi River. I lived a 211 N 11 Ave so it was across downtown. Still stands as the coldest winter on record for St. Cloud. 

First day of that required class I squeezed into the little desk and settled in for the usual syllabus and orientation talk. I think it was the 10th time the professor repeated something about how this was the most important thing in our lives and how he required full compliance that I thought, “Did I enroll or enlist?” After class I went to the registrar and dropped the class.  Yes, I know this ends my Journalism major. Only one professor taught that class. I just didn’t want Journalism bad enough. But, now, I’m at a lost for what to do next. I threw my efforts behind the book store job. Sandpiper editors

I continued to write; mostly poetry and personal letters. And, I made some extra money on the side typing thesis for people. I learned proper form for a variety of scientific, literary, and technical papers.I actually enjoyed that process.

In March of 1979 I moved to North Carolina and pretty much figured my Journalism days were far behind me. I still journaled and wrote letters. Seems odd to think of a time we didn’t have free long distance, texting, email, or FaceTime. Still no direction career wise so I took a year off school; now they call it a gap year. Then I resumed taking only classes that called to me. Ironically ended up with a Major in English from Elon University. We were still typing our research papers out on typewriters with erasable paper when allowed and using a card catalog in the library to find the reference materials.  I avidly read magazines and newspapers when I could get them. Still made some money on the side tutoring and typing. When I graduated, I worked for the American Association of University Women on their technical research projects because I knew the science and how to organize the data.

In 1985 I moved to Alaska and became a part of the Waldorf Education Movement there while working ats a clerk specialist at the University of Alaska, Anchorage. Guess what! They needed a newsletter. Out came the typewriter and Lynn was at it again. This time I could do layout and all directly on copy paper and then take it to Kinko’s where they reproduced it on the laser copy machines (we called them Xerox machines though by that time most weren’t Xerox they were Cannon or Epson or I BM.) I upgraded to a word processor that wasn’t really much of a computer but it was better than typing. Eventually someone  gave me an old Kaypro II with Wordstar loaded. I moved from the newsletter to making calendars & books. The old printing bug was back. There’s just something magical about it.

I landed in the dog world in 1992 or there about. As a trainer, I wrote, edited, and printed all my own materials. The Cook Inlet Kennel Club and the Sheltland Sheepdog Club had their own newsletters too. Conveniently, I edited them for several years. Meanwhile, the Kaypro II faded into disuse when someone gave me an HP personal computer and I started doing all my work on it. It’s amazing how much easier it is with a computer. I was struggling to learn my way around Microsoft Word and Publisher when my friend in Texas, Deb Casey wanted some help with her websites. Oh sure – why not?!? Edward, my husband helped me learn what a hyperlink was and how to Cut, copy, paste with keystrokes. I mean really – I had no clue. It was all still creating something and typing and working with the magic. In a few short years, I upgraded the computer and learned how to make websites. 

I don’t know if it’s my birth heritage or a personality trait; but, I can’t just do something a little bit and drop it. By 1998, I am running my own virtual web server/hosting and managing-designing-maintaining hundreds of websites mostly for kennels and dog related groups. I learned my way around Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Corel Paint Shop Pro, and WordPress. This was all consuming. Of course I trained dogs and homeschooled my children at the same time. You know, websites aren’t much different from the old newspaper layout. Add in navigation and color and it’s all basically the same principles of layout and design. Content management is content management. I even learned to hand code HTML, HTML5, CSS, and JavaScript.

Deb sponsored me as a member in The Australian Cattle Dog Club of America in 2002. It wasn’t long before I was Associate Editor of their print magazine The ACDQuarterly. I compiled the content and it was sent off to Cynthia who did layout for the printers. Skip ahead to now. 50 years later I and guess what – I’m the Editor and Production (layout/photo editing/content management) for the Quarterly. I use Adobe InDesign & Photoshop every single day. I make ads too. I have also produced several online publications, magazines, and newsletters. Right back making money where I started when I was 12. At no point did I choose this work; I think it chose me. I still enjoy it; but, if you were to ask me what I do for a living, I’d probably answer retired. 

What’s in a career? My skills honed in the early days of writing feature stories served me well for being a dog trainer and working with children. My layout skills have rallied time and time again to help communicate complex subjects in accessible formats. Am I a Journalist? Maybe. Is it justified? Ironically, not usually anymore. Those perfect margins and two spaces after a period are long gone. Style comes and goes. Respect for the job wavers. With WIX and WordPress most people think they can do their own websites. Usually, they lose interest before the site is cohesive or they lag with keeping it updated. Blogging once popular has faded to the more easily maintained social media. It is no longer a “build it and they will come” era. To succeed you need to work at it every single day. Publishing is just the beginning of the process. SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and social media hype are specialties now. I just wonder what I and my little MacBook Pro are going to do in the future.

Sandpiper staff 77

Memorial Day

American Beautify Roses (red) in a clear vase of water
Photo by Lynda Sanchez on Pexels.com

Since this blog is essentially about exploring memories, it seems appropriate to start with my memory of Memorial Day. About a week before Memorial Day, my grandmother ordered 2 dozen American Beauty Roses. They filled the house with their scent and sat on our kitchen table until we took them to my Grandfather’s grave. The grandeur of the rare annual florist delivery is etched into my senses for as long as I can remember. Grandma had a somewhat Victorian approach to those who had passed. She never spoke of them and clung to keeping everything as much the same through time as possible.

We had a small business and were the dispatch for the local fire department. My family was always “home.” We never went anywhere as a family ever….well, except to the cemetery on Memorial weekend every year. No, we didn’t go on Memorial Day because that was a day for parades, presentations, and crowds at the cemetery. So, we would go on Sunday morning. Someone from the fire department, usual Ronald Fagerstrom the chief or Wesley Cox the deputy chief would provide security for our business and be ready to answer a fire call if necessary.

We would dress in our Sunday clothes and oddly rather enjoy the outing as a family. Grandma Marty sat in the front seat holding the vase of roses (always ALL the roses which was rather disappointing to have them all go to the gravesite). My younger Sister Lois, my Mom, and I sat in the back (sometimes Mom sat in the front too) and Dad drove the Buick Station Wagon to St. Anthony, Minnesota about 15 miles away. We sang songs in harmony on the trip. Not sure that was much appreciated by Grandma who didn’t sing with us. But, it was the rare chance to sing together as a family. We sang Battle Hymn of the Republic, Swing Low Sweet Chariot (I know – not very sensitive, I guess but the harmony was great), You Are My Sunshine, Down in the Valley, and Long Long Trail a Winding.

Grandpa Mac (William McKinley Zabel) is interred at Sunset Memorial Gardens. The family acquired the plots there when they purchased the business from Grandpa’s cousin (Brennan). Something could be said about purchasing a business which includes cemetery plots, maybe later. Our plots are just to the side of a mausoleum against a beautiful stand of Norway Pine and Cedar trees. We would go early often before the dew had burned off the newly mown Spring grass. Mourning Doves sang in the trees and there were flags and flowers as far as you could see. The veterans decorated the graves for the holiday. We picked up a metal star stake commemorating Grandpa’s service during WWI. He was in the 1st Calvary (more on that in another post). Sunset Memorial Gardens has only flat markers. Grandpa’s marker was the standard issue from the military. There was a mistake in his birthdate so dad had carved away part of the metal so it was correct. Grandpa Mac died from Stomach Cancer and also lost his left eye to cancer (both of my grandpas had impaired left eyes like I do… again another post in the future). Now my Grandma (Martha Christina Palmer Zabel) and my Dad (Richard Mac Zabel) are interred beside my Grandpa Mac.

On our way home, we often stopped at a friend’s home. Usually, it was Morris & Mae Helgeson who lived less than a mile from our home; but, since we never went anywhere as a family it was a treat to go to their home. Morris & Mae had beautiful flowers & a garden which was usually newly planted. They would serve us coffee (milk for the kids) and cookies. I think we even had sandwiches once or twice. Lois & I were on our best behavior of course. There was always some urgency to the visit because Grandma wasn’t accustomed to being away from home so she used “need to relieve the volunteer” as her excuse to rush the visit a little. Morris & Mae were from Dunn County North Dakota where my Grandmother grew up. They were of Norwegian decent and their home reflected that in the decoration and food.

Which brings me to the interior feelings of this annual event. I was generally completely stress out and anxious. So worried I would do something wrong or disappoint my parents. Emotions were high and I was always so concerned I would be reprimanded or blamed for the situations. There was no support, no explanation, no preparation. After several years of this, I would help Lois by explaining and watching out for her. We certainly didn’t have the typical family life at all. Though now I can focus on those beautiful roses and the love my Grandma had for her husband. I’ve learned to deal with death in a different way now that I’ve grown; I’m sure my childhood experiences facilitated that.